Before going to bed

Before I go to bed I am excited to say that I have been accepted into the swap. I have also copied the pattern from the Burda Magazine and now I just have to start it. My daughter picked a very nice teal colored fabric and it has a nice drape. It is a good fabric to start with. I haven't felt well and finally starting to get back into real life and want to get started sewing again.
I can't believe how I felt when I saw the x at Collingswood. Who would have thought? I only saw him in a distance and then I saw his car. I was rendered into a state of total fear. I didn't know what to do, I just stopped in my steps and R was there but I felt trapped with no where to run. I couldn't even let R know why I had stopped suddenly. Finally he just guided me away from the car and where we had seen him and I could become coherent again. It truly was so frightening. That feeling stayed with me for some time. I didn't want to get out of bed at all or do anything. Then being physically ill on top of that I just couldn't move. I know that Sunday if the kids didn't keep coming in and out of the house I would have been done with it. That feeling of such deep pain. The feeling that I could not and should not go on. It was a dark place again. I hate when I am there. I feel like the pills do absolutely nothing for the PTSD.
I am glad that I can finally get up but I over did today, with sugar that is. Ridiculous, I should know better. So the evening did not end well. Tomorrow is a new day and will try to start life again.
Good night all.