I am a mom of older children and have noticed that the time has come when I do not have the hustle and bustle of little ones constantly around my feet and life now seems to be a bit of a let down. Well life has changed and now I have more hustle and bustle then ever. I am the Grammy Nanny to my 3 grandsons.
I was savoring the time that was mine and now have to share it with everyone all over again. The growing pains are upon me again and trying to define who I am again. The upside is that I get to cuddle little ones again! I still haven't truly learned to hug myself yet nor to be understanding to my own feelings. Did anyone notice how hard it is to be nice and understanding to yourself? That being said I hope that you will be part of my journey into yet another part of my life.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Before going to bed

Before I go to bed I am excited to say that I have been accepted into the swap. I have also copied the pattern from the Burda Magazine and now I just have to start it. My daughter picked a very nice teal colored fabric and it has a nice drape. It is a good fabric to start with. I haven't felt well and finally starting to get back into real life and want to get started sewing again.
I can't believe how I felt when I saw the x at Collingswood. Who would have thought? I only saw him in a distance and then I saw his car. I was rendered into a state of total fear. I didn't know what to do, I just stopped in my steps and R was there but I felt trapped with no where to run. I couldn't even let R know why I had stopped suddenly. Finally he just guided me away from the car and where we had seen him and I could become coherent again. It truly was so frightening. That feeling stayed with me for some time. I didn't want to get out of bed at all or do anything. Then being physically ill on top of that I just couldn't move. I know that Sunday if the kids didn't keep coming in and out of the house I would have been done with it. That feeling of such deep pain. The feeling that I could not and should not go on. It was a dark place again. I hate when I am there. I feel like the pills do absolutely nothing for the PTSD.
I am glad that I can finally get up but I over did today, with sugar that is. Ridiculous, I should know better. So the evening did not end well. Tomorrow is a new day and will try to start life again.
Good night all. 

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

the elusive yellow dress

I am so excited to have finished the yellow dress and it fits nicely. I've worn it already but need to get pics of it. I have enough fabric left over to make another style dress. Just deciding what will work with the amount of fabric I have left. I keep thinking of the Tara dress from Burda but my husbands says that I need something with a more defined waist in order to not look pregnant but I love the comfort and ease of wear of that style dress. I should show the picture of the Tara dress that I made with the Dress by Friday on Grosgrains blog. I used an old long skirt that I hadn't worn in years but I just loved the fabric and didn't want to waste it.
There are a couple of other things I want to try to match patterns with and have them all over our dining room table. So many thoughts race through my head and then it just bogs down and I get stuck. I am still working with the up and down emotions and hate it! It seems so silly that I am home and have the fabric and time to make what ever I would like and I am in essence stuttering. Well, I am going to force myself to do some work. I had started making Silly Bandz holder, a couple of finger pin cushions and just all that fabric that is waiting to become something.
"One step in front of the other and soon I will be walking out the door!"

Swap for All Seasons

I have taken the first step to participate in an online swap. I hope that I am accepted.

Monday, August 2, 2010

trying hard

I have finished the dresses that I was working on and now I am going to finish the elusive yellow dress. I don't know why it is so hard to do. I think that it is because it was the first thing that I wanted to sew. It is cut out, sewn, and now I am working on the hem. I am getting kind of excited because if I can conquer this then I will start to work on some simple dresses and attempt to finish the yellow caftan. I have it all pinned but not sure how to stitch it together. Oh yes and that romper that is pinned on the dress form. I know what I want something to look like but I still do not know how to make it work. I will have to post the pictures of the finished dresses. I am proud of them and should show that I have finished them.

I had the best time when my sister and niece were here. We did so much together. It was great. I felt like I was in a whirl wind and oddly when I didn't sew I had anxiety. So we made monsters. I made one with my niece and one for my g-baby. My niece turned 25 and for her b-day we went to Hoboken and went to Carlos Bakery. My sister ordered a cake and then we went for lunch. I will have to write about the things we did and post some of the pictures. Best of times! I pray that I will be able to make it to Florida to surprise my mom for her birthday.
Good Night

Sunday, August 1, 2010

chance to win

check out dollar store crafts for a chance to win a sihouette cutter.